Why do we feel like we need to have it all together all of the time? If someone asks you how you’re doing, what is your initial and immediate response?
“I’m fine!”
We answer with some variation of I’m fine (I’m good, I’m great, I’m okay) even when in reality we are far from fine. Deep down we know we don’t have to have it all together, so what makes us feel like we do?
Perhaps it’s the pressure of social media. Pinterest. Instagram. We look at our friends who seem to have it all together and we begin to feel a little less than. Am I right?
Here’s a little confession. I do not have a Pinterest worthy house. I am not really a pinterest person. Artistic creativity, decorating my home, these are not my strong suit. They aren’t my any suit. I don’t even own that suit!
My Christmas decorations do not have a theme. There’s no rhyme or reason. They just consist of pieces I liked in a store and memories masquerading as decor set all around my home.
I recently saw a Reel on Instagram of a mom hurrying around her house, tidying up, and a voice begins to speak to her. “Stop trying to do everything.” She turns around and looks straight at the camera and replies, “Then who the heck is gonna do it?”
It’s true. We feel the pressure, especially as we head into the busy holiday hustle and bustle, to get it all done. And not just done. Done with perfection. Over the top done. Pinterest worthy and Instagramable perfection.
38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” 41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42 (nlt)
I love how the amplified classic describes Mary in verse 39. It says, “Mary sat herself down.” She wasn’t waiting for anyone to give her permission. She just sat herself down right at the feet of Jesus and gave Him her full attention.
I also like how it describes Martha in verse 41. It says she was overly occupied and too busy being distracted by all the details.
We can read this and relate, can’t we? Then we feel self-condemned. Are we occupied? Are we busy? The answer is yes to both of those questions. Of course we are! But Jesus did not chastise her for being occupied or busy. Take note of the words He used. OVERLY occupied. TOO busy. Distracted.
You can be occupied without being overly. You an be busy without being distracted.
What had Martha so worried and upset and overly and too and distracted? Was it what she was doing in the kitchen alone or was there something else?
I like to think it wasn’t just preparing dinner that had Martha in a tizzy. It was the demands and expectations of society and the culture of the day. It was the unrealistic and unnecessary demands she put on herself.
She had invited Jesus over to her house. And what is the first thing you do when you invite someone over? You plan the meal. And not just any meal. It has to be a great meal!
Martha invited Jesus over because she wanted to spend time with Him. Culture said to feed Him. Pinterest demanded she make it spectacular. She wanted to feed Him. She chose to make it so extravagant that it distracted her from the most important part of the day.
Would a sandwich tray have fed Jesus and His crew? Of course it would have. Would it have been “good enough”? Well, that is another story. This is how I imagine Martha’s thought process.
“I mean, this is Jesus! I’ve got to impress Him. Rebecca down the road had Him over last week and you should have seen the spread she made Him. She made sure to tell me how He kept complimenting her culinary skills. And that tablescape! Her centerpieces were to die for! My house needs to be spotless. My centerpiece needs to be handcrafted. I have to make the freshest bread and a five-course meal that all gets done at precisely the same moment. It has to be perfect.”
But of course, it took longer than expected. The sides were all finished before the main course, which was still raw when He knocked on the door. The bread didn’t rise. The frosting for the cake was runny. And the handcrafted centerpiece caught on fire!
I can hear Martha barking an order to Mary but getting no reply. Mary had abandoned the place culture and her sister and peer pressure tried to place her because she wanted to be close to Jesus. She sat herself down at His feet and gave Him her full attention and Martha was mad. After all, it was she who invited Jesus over.
Mary was where Martha desired to be. Where Martha could have been if she had only set aside all of culture and pinterest’s expectations. If she had sat aside her own expectations. If she had released herself from measuring up to Rebecca down the street. Mary was sitting where Martha could have been if cold cuts would have been good enough.
What am I saying? Not to do the things? Of course not! We have things we need to do. But not overly. Not too. Not distracted.
Don’t lose sight of the ONE thing that matters because you are overly or too or distracted by pinterest expectations. Culture says, “Do it for the ‘Gram. It has to be over the top!” Jesus was saying to her, “Come sit down. We can eat later. We can eat less. I just want your attention. I don’t need your idea of perfection.”
We are heading into the most wonderful time of the year, which is also the busiest and most stressful time of the year. Your gifts don’t have to have extravagant bows.Your centerpiece can come preassembled from Amazon. Or – GASP! – you don’t even need to have one! Maybe you only bake three kinds of Christmas cookies instead of thirteen. You have cold cuts Christmas even instead of yet another 5-course meal.
You can let your house get dusty instead of your Bible while you choose to sit yourself at His feet for a few minutes and breathe. Being attentive doesn’t just mean give Him an hour in the morning. You can put on worship music while you bake instead of a Hallmark movie. Listen to the Bible while you get ready in the morning. Go through an advent devotional in December instead of your normal Bible reading.
In 1 Chronicles 13:12, David is desperate to bring the Ark of God back to Jerusalem, and He cries out to God, “How can I bring the ark home to me?” The ark represented the presence of God, and David wanted it close.
This is something we can pray every day. In this season, in this moment, today, Lord how can I be attentive to You today?
Give yourself permission to step outside of the expectations of what Pinterest says and be yourself. You are good enough.
When my kids were in elementary school, Pinterest was just coming on the scene. All the other moms sent in the most amazing, crafty, creative things for the class for their kid’s birthdays. And then there was me. Creative and crafty are not in my vocabulary. I picked up Munchkins from Dunkin Donuts and scribbled a note that they were for Alli’s birthday and sent them in.
Those kids today don’t remember whether or not it was a spectacular craft I labored over for hours or Munchkins that took me 5 minutes to pick up. Cold cuts would have fed Jesus. It didn’t have to be extravagant.
Ask anyone about a favorite Christmas memory they have. Some may talk of a special gift they received. No one is likely to remember a centerpiece. Most favorite memories will revolve around a person.
My mom moved to heaven in 2017. She landed in the hospital a few days before Christmas and I wanted to go see her. I decided on December 21st that I would take that next day and knock out everything on my to do list so I could spend all of December 23rd with her at the hospital without feeling stressed about what was waiting for me at home.
On December 22nd, I labored all day long. I baked batches of rolls and cookies. I finished wrapping and cleaning. Things were perfectly ready for all our traditions for celebrating Christmas. I was feeling pretty good about myself because now I could spend a stress-free day with my mom.
While I was getting ready to leave the house the morning of December 23rd, I got the phone call saying my mom moved to heaven.
It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Cold cuts would have been good enough. My kids wouldn’t remember now if we didn’t have cinnamon rolls. Or whatever cookies I just had to bake that day. I was overly distracted by the expectations I had put on myself to be perfect and I missed the most important thing.
Let’s remember the main thing this year. Him. And the next thing. People. The rest will be good enough.
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