I used to be really good at looking like I’m okay when I’m really not okay. I mean, academy award quality acting.
And when someone sensed something was a bit off and asked, “Are you okay,” I would immediately reply, “A-okay! Never better!” But inside I was a hot mess.
Anyone else? Am I the only one?
We’ve been conditioned to think that showing any kind of negative emotion is a weakness, so we keep them well hid, as if not being okay is a sign of doubt. Or it’s evil. Or somehow we’ve made God mad at us if we are less than okay. Somewhere along the lines we’ve been led to believe that if we aren’t living on the mountaintop 24/7, we’re in sin.
But can I let you in on a little secret?
It’s okay to not be okay on your way to being okay.
Having negative emotions is not a sign of weakness and going through storms and being somewhat of a mess (or even a hot mess) is not an indication of doubt.
It’s a sign you are human.
Life is full of mountaintops, valleys and plateaus. And we will experience seasons in all of these locations as we walk this journey with the Lord. All of them.
I was never good at dealing with my emotions. I was a stuffer. I could stuff them so far down that I’d almost forget they were there. Any other stuffers out there?
But that’s not healthy. Emotions aren’t wicked. God gave us emotions. They were fractured at the fall like everything else. They are meant to be locators and not leaders. But they are not evil in and of themselves.
And faith doesn’t deny reality. It confronts it. It deals with it. It faces it as a human with the help of the Holy Ghost.
The truth is, if you stuff your emotions, they are going to turn into guck on the inside of you. Eventually they are going to come out and it won’t be pretty.
Guck. That is a technical term for bitterness, anger, jealousy and the like, which are all infections of the soul.
I was talking to a friend the other day. I knew she was dealing with some heavy things and I asked her, “Are you okay?” And her answer made me so happy! She said, “I’m riding the struggle bus.”
Bam! Open. Honest. Reality. No pretending. It was so refreshing. She wasn’t denying God or forsaking her faith. She was honest about where she was as she kept her eye on where she was going.
It’s okay to ride the struggle bus and ADMIT that you are.
It’s okay to not be okay on the way to being okay. Just don’t put in a change of address form and pitch a tent there.
I love the psalms of David. When I read them, I hear him saying things like this:
“I’m depressed. Really, really down. Why? It’s not even logical! I know God! So why am I feeling this way? You know what? I’m going to put my hope in God and remember who He is and what He can do. Feelings will change. This season will change. God will walk me through.”
I’m so glad God chose to leave all those journal entries behind for us to find. That way we know what it looks like to be a human working out our salvation. We know what it looks like to not be okay on our way to being okay.
Read through the apostle Paul’s writings.
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 8 We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 8-9
Notice what Paul didn’t say. He didn’t say:
“Praise God because we never have trouble!”
No. He thanked God that in trouble He comforted them. When do you need comfort? When you are okay? No! You need comfort when you’re hurting. Grieving. Distressed and depressed.
Later he revealed how they felt through their trial. They were crushed and overwhelmed. They were beyond their ability to endure. They thought they were going to die.
That’s reality. But they didn’t stop there. They told us the secret of what got them through.
“We weren’t okay. We were crushed. So we stopped relying on ourselves and relied on God. We remembered, ‘Hey, He can raise the dead!’ And He got us through.”
The apostle Paul rode the struggle bus from time to time. He also wrote things like, “I was encouraged at the coming of Timothy.” If he needed encouraged it means he wasn’t completely okay.
It’s okay to not be okay on the way to being okay.
Do what David did. What Paul did. Feel the feels. Face them. Express them. Give them to God and hold on to Him for dear life. Take a break. Rest if your body needs it. If your soul needs it. Talk to a trusted friend.
God will use all of the above to pull you through when your natural situations are too heavy and burdensome for your physical body and emotions to handle.
If you’re not okay today, it’s okay. Just don’t stay there. You’re just passing through on your way to okay.