When your heart is broken…

Nothing hurts quite like a broken heart. This always seemed a bit strange to me because a broken heart is not even a tangible thing. It’s strictly emotional. I broke my foot a few years back but didn’t know it was broken. I walked on it for 5 weeks before I finally broke down and had it checked out. It hurt. A LOT! Excruciating…But I’ve had broken hearts that have hurt a lot worse and a lot longer than that foot ever did. There isn’t a surgical procedure for that hurt. No pain pills. Nothing medically you can do. No doctor saying, “Four to six weeks of this treatment, and you’ll be right as rain.” What do you do when your heart is broken?

Nothing hurts quite like a broken heart. This always seemed a bit strange to me because a broken heart is not even a tangible thing. It’s strictly emotional, but the pain can feel so physical, can’t it?

I broke my foot a few years back but didn’t know it was broken. I walked on it for 5 weeks before I finally broke down and had it checked out. It hurt. A LOT! Excruciating…

But I’ve had broken hearts that have hurt a lot worse and a lot longer than that foot ever did.

There isn’t a surgical procedure for that hurt. No pain pills. Nothing medically you can do. No doctor saying, “Four to six weeks of this treatment, and you’ll be right as rain.”

What do you do when your heart is broken?

Let it go!

I promise I’m not going to go all Elsa on you and start singing, but the first thing we really need to do is let go of what hurt us. Sounds easy, right?

Not so much.

That can be one of the hardest things to do. Especially if it was someone’s words. Someone close to us that we love. Those words can play over and over in our minds. They can keep us up at night and steal our peace during the day.

When my daughter was little, I heard a blood-curdling scream come from her room at 6:30 one morning. She came out of her room shaking. Her hand especially was shaking.

She opened her hand, and she was holding a yellow jacket. It had stung her on the shoulder and she caught it in her hand. I told her to drop it, and she did, but not until it had stung her a few more times.

Holding onto the thoughts of what hurt us is like my daughter holding that bee in her hand and letting it sting her. All she had to do was drop it, and so do we.

It’s the old Distract and Redirect technique. Pull your thoughts from what hurt you and put them on the Healer. It takes work and discipline to keep those hurtful thoughts (those bees) away from our minds, but it’s well worth the work. Keep swatting those bees away.

And set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth. (Colossians 3:2)

Give it to God

When we let it go, we’re not just casting it into the nothingness of space. We’re giving it to God because we trust that He can and will do something about it.

When my daughter let go of that bee, she was terrified of it hurting her again. She dropped it and just looked at me like, “What are you gonna do?” She let go of it trusting that I was going to do something about it.

And I did. I smooshed it and flushed it. I got that thing far away from her. She knew it couldn’t hurt her ever again.

We can cast our hurts onto God because we know He loves us and He can do something about them. And bring healing.

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. (I Peter 5:7)

Do the Ugly Cry

Now, I’m not suggesting you have to cry when you have a broken heart. Not everyone is a crier. But I think we’ve gotten good at burying our emotions, and that is not healthy. Keeping it all inside and putting a good face on it is NOT a good thing. That’s not healing. That’s hiding.

When my daughter was stung, I had to get the stinger out, and I put a baking soda and water mixture on it to help draw out the venom and help it stop hurting.

At some point, we’ve got to let the hurt out, or it turns toxic. We’ve got to get those toxins out or they build up and take root as bitterness and offense. And I think that’s one reason God gave us emotions.

Emotions are not bad and they can be expressed in healthy ways. Anger and hurt are not bad.They’re locators. And they can be expressed in a healthy way. (Our oldest son’s favorite way to get that out is a speed bag.) Our daughter cries and talks hers out (and talks and talks and talks and then writes and writes and writes).

The Psalms are great examples of what this can look like. “Lord, look what they did to me. That really hurt. You are my Healer. Pour in the salve of the Holy Spirit. You are my refuge and joy and safe place. I feel much better. Amen.”

Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is a refuge for us (a fortress and a high tower). (Psalm 62:8)

Forgive

Forgiveness doesn’t really impact the person who hurt us. Forgiveness is for you and me. It keeps our hearts right and at peace.

Joseph was done wrong from his brothers six ways from Sunday. From all outward appearances, they ruined his life. They tried to kill him and sold him as a slave where he got lied on and thrown in prison and forgotten. I’m pretty sure Joseph had to deal with a broken heart at some point.

But he forgave, even though his brothers never asked for his forgiveness. No, the Bible doesn’t specifically say the words, “Joseph forgave his brothers.” But you can see the fruit of his forgiveness when he cries over them. When he tells them to forgive themselves because he was all right with it. Because it was God’s plan all along.

Joseph was able to live peaceful and content and go on with his life because of forgiveness. He let it go and got a new perspective on it. He let God heal him. He forgave his brothers. It was a choice, and he chose well.

There is so much more, but we’ll leave it at this today…we can hold on to hurt and let it control us and keep hurting us like Alli did that bee, or we can help expedite our healing when we let it go, give it to God, do the ugly cry, and forgive.

Let’s run to Him and let Him pour in the salve of the Holy Spirit and bring new life and healing. Life is so much sweeter that way, and He is so faithful to heal.

3 comments on “When your heart is broken…Add yours →

  1. Let it go, So true as that pain can become toxic without one realizing it and it can cause physical ailments in our body. We think we are sick but many times it’s emotional pain we have held on to. So Not worth it!
    Good Toni!

  2. Oh Toni this was an awesome word from
    The Lord. Thanks for sharing because I needed to be reminded of this. Love you my sister in The Lord

  3. Oh Toni I so needed to hear this and be reminded of this . Thanks for sharing. I love you with the love of The Lord. my sweet sister in Christ

Leave a Reply